No matter how hard you try to escape it, the Valentine’s Day pressure is real. If you are single, you might feel the pressure to find someone, to not be alone on Valentine’s Day, or to host the most Pinterest worthy Galentines day brunch.
If you are married or in a relationship, you might feel like you need to preform grand gestures for your partner or that they need to do that for you. And if said grand gestures don’t happen, and you have nothing to post about, are you even a healthy couple?! Jk Jk.
It’s around this time of year that everyone is posting the highlight reels.
I personally can find myself slipping into comparison mode when I get on Instagram or TikTok. I log on to see everyone getting the things that I want. The houses, the new cars, the cute clothes, the grand shows of affection.
To be clear, I have a WONDERFUL life. Not just an internet staged life, an amazing behind the curtain life. My husband is my best friend and is AMAZING. I love my job (most days lol). I have so much fun with my friends, love my family, my hobbies, etc.
I am not saying all of this to brag. I am saying this to help emphaisis how intensely toxic the comparison culture can be. You can always find something better on the internet. Something new, prettier, more exciting, more enticing. All of it feeds into our worst traits as humans; our discontentment, restlessness, and constant greed.
All of that to say, Valentine’s Day does all of this.
When I was single, I DISPISED Valentine’s Day for different reasons. I called it Singles Awareness Day. I would make fun of it and always post ridiculously pictures of myself to make light of the day. It was my effort to control the narrative.
Now I think its lame for different reasons. don’t get me wrong, I love the chocolate, the dates, and the sweet gestures from my adorable husband, but I hate how flashy, how consumeristic, how comparison based it is. It’s gotten so far away from the purpose. The purpose of appreciating the love that you have in your life. Yet, I STILL find myself in the rat race of wanting it all. It makes no sense.
I try to view it as a day where myself and my husband can take extra time to appreciate our love. We try our very hardest to do that every day though, so Valentine’s Day should just feel like another Tuesday. In every respect, THAT’S amazing. That’s the way it should be. It shouldn’t be the only day you or your partner is taking initiative or being romantic. We should be doing that every day.
I am going on this rant to say this; don’t forget the simplicity of being present. Of being truly, deeply thankful for what you currently have, no matter the day. Even if you feel like you don’t have a lot, take the time to be grateful for what you have. Don’t compare it to the person you just saw on the internet, or the life you are longing to have. Appreciate it for exactly what it is right now.
This is so hard (ESPECIALLY FOR ME), but life is so short and will get away from you. Before you know it, you will be looking back on the current season you are in with fond memories of the blessings you had. I find myself doing that a lot recently, looking back on seasons when I thought I was lacking and felt like there was some type of void, and thinking about how great my life really was. I’ll scroll back on my old photos and think, “Wow, that was such a fun time. Why was I so worried about _(fill in the blank) then?!) You are most likely in one of those seasons right now.
I know it’s hard not to, but don’t let the flashy, consumeristic, comparison based, Hallmark-ish culture of things like Valentine’s Day get to you. Today is just another Tuesday and we are alive and most likely very blessed. Focus on that today. Love ya’ll!
ELLIE LACEY 