On Mondays I normally feel nostalgic for some reason. It’s not that I dislike Monday’s; it’s just that Monday’s come with a negative connotation so I inadvertently try to think of other things, like old memories.
On days like today I catch myself drifting back into old times when I dreamed about the future days that I am currently living in. Some things are better and some things are in progress. Some things have changed and some things have stayed exactly the same. But through it all, I’d love to think that I’m evolving into a better human.
I was thinking about the days when I used to wait for the moment that God would come down from the sky and show me the “will of God for my life.” I dreamt time away hoping for the future when I would have clear direction for my life.
I still have days when this feeling comes back around and knocks on my door. I’ve been learning more a more recently that it’s not about having it all figured it. I don’t think God is ever going to come down with a big booming voice from the sky and tell me what His will for my life is. He probably wouldn’t do this, not because He is cruel, but because he wants to partner in that process with me. He loves walking along side us through life and allowing us to seek Him throughout the journey. Intimacy is made up of a million small moments, and He wants intimacy with us. If we had it all figured out we wouldn’t need Him the way we do when we don’t have a clue what we are doing next.
All of this to say, I wish I could go back in time and tell 16 year old me to chill out and ENJOY the process. To enjoy every moment that’s right in front of me, to cultivate the future by enjoying the moment right now. I want to be faithful with the small things, the mundane moments, the whole process, not just the big astounding moments. Life is made up of a trillion tiny moments, so starting now; I’m going to make the most out of all of those.