There aren’t very many things that I’m an expert at but I feel like I’m an expert at having FUN.
I’ve also been single for long enough now that I feel pretty confident that I can also talk about navigating single waters with the same amount of certainty that Michael Scott from the hit show The Office has of his managerial skills.
Whatever that means, I think I have something to offer to people looking to have a more enjoyable time in whatever season they are in.
I’m going to go ahead and say it, I get it, I totally and completely understand that the temptation is real when you are single to put life on “pause” until you find the perfect person and drift off into a dreamy relationship land.
I’ve been tempted with this about 15 million times myself. But I have a crazy counter-culture thought, I actually think that life starts long before you enter a relationship and that you should take full advantage of your season(s) as someone who is single.
The alternative is that you are burning up time and wasting your life. As soon as I wrote that I knew it sounded harsh but somebody has to be honest.
Being single has it’s up’s and down’s but right now let’s focus on one of the major benefits of being single, the ability to use your free time in whatever way you would like. THAT’S AN AWESOME BENEFIT.
Below is a list of things that I’d argue are beneficial to do while you are single for the following reasons….
A) Good uses of your time.
B) If you practice them while you are single they will majorly benefit you later on when you are in a serious relationship.
C) If you don’t do some of these things while you are single you might regret it later on down the road.
D) They are smart, attainable and show good stewardship.
Now here’s that list….
1) Travel – Everyone always says or puts off traveling until they are in a relationship. I’ve heard people say, “yeah I’m gonna travel later in life” only to get married, have tons of kids (not that you can’t travel with kids) and never travel further than the suburbs of their city.
Why not spend money and go and see the world while it is cheaper and easier than at any point in your life?! I know what you are saying, “I don’t have the savings, I’m busy, I don’t wanna travel alone” and the list goes on. There are ways to travel cheaply, google them. To the time excuse, just take the time off and GO.
Now I get the not wanting to travel by yourself excuse but to that I say, go gather the group of friends you’ve found based on the steps below and go somewhere fun. Can you tell I’m passionate about travel?
2) Build Friendships – Friendships are so invaluable in every season of life. You need friends when you are single, dating, married or married with 5 kids.
You need people to keep you accountable, call you out and help you see things clearly when your vision is clouded.
If you find great friendships and surround yourself with awesome people, and learn how to become a selfless friend while you are single, it will enable you to be a more selfless partner.
Building good friendships now will teach you things that you can use later and help you through every season of life.
3) Save Money – Bet you didn’t see this one coming based on the above advice I’ve given, right?? I know everyone offers this advice but I feel pretty confident that it’s common advice because it’s good advice.
It’s really practical but when you practice and establish good budgeting tools while you are single, it’ll be way easier to enter a relationship later that has healthy spending habits.
I can’t say with certainty but I feel sure that it would be easier to learn this by yourself now rather than fighting through it as a newlywed or married couple.
Save money, pay off debt, and create healthy spending habits now. Accomplishing these things right now will be so invaluable no matter what your relationship status is down the road.
Not good with budgeting? Use Mint.com, Simple banking app or Every Dollar. These are all great resources that I’ve used myself.
4) Establish Good Habits & Invest In Yourself – Establishing good habits and patterns like a morning devotional, healthy eating, working out, reading, being a part of a small group (the list goes on), are all so vital for living a full life.
Creating these while you are single and have the space to focus more on yourself might be easier than while you are busy entering a new relationship and navigating those new waters.
Spend time investing in yourself!!! And as far as investing in yourself goes, buy the course, hire a personal training, read the book, go to the conference, buy the nice jacket or shoes you’ve been dying to purchase or the furniture you’ve been wanting to invest in.
You are worth it, you don’t have to wait until you are in a relationship to do these things. Don’t delay!
5) Find Hobbies– Maybe you want to learn a new language, an instrument, play more sports, write a book, cook, etc., Now is the time.
You might be saying, that sounds nice but I don’t have time. As a single person myself, it drives me nuts when people say that we have more time than ever while we are single.
That drives me NUTS because I am single and I’m SO busy and I have tons of single friends who are completely slammed also. But I think I’m starting to understand what all of these well-meaning people are getting at.
As a single person, my schedule may be full but it’s typically flexible. If I’m honest with myself, apart from work, I can move most of the things I’m doing around.
It’s not that people in relationships or with kids are busier than me, it’s just that when life seasons transition, it typically becomes about other people, (not better or worse, it’s just the transition) and therefore time is no longer your own.
Time becomes less flexible because it’s about others rather than yourself. When you are single you can spend as much time as you decide to spend and set aside on a hobby as you’d like to.
All that to say, find hobbies that you enjoy, that you can do with friends, that bring you life. You wouldn’t ever regret this! If you don’t know where to begin, check out websites like Skillpop.com for some ideas on skillsets you could learn about.
That’s all I’ve got for you right now folks. At the end of the day, being single and being in a relationship both have their benefits, take advantage of all that the season that you are in has to offer.
No matter what season of life you are in, live your life to the fullest and don’t hold back. Go for your dreams, goals, and visions to the fullest! Take advantage of your season of singleness.
all great advice , Ellie ! seems like many people are in a hurry to fit the common mold of marry > child(ren) > … , when looking for actual happiness is a better way to begin , with a broader spectrum of joy . ❤
haha THANK YOU!!! you are so right, it’s important to walk your own path. Love you!
OH ! and i think , we are never incomplete . nobody gets to judge . (many try !)