They helped me out of the hole.

Hi world,

It’s me, Ellie. I know it’s been a little while since I shared my thoughts on here but I am backkkk. Quite honestly there was a reason for my MIA-ness. I have been going through some things in my life over the past few months that were too personal and deep to share via online. Don’t worry, I wasn’t depressed or anything like that but the things that I was dealing with were too raw and personal to share online. I didn’t know how to verbalize them and I’m still not sure when, if or how those things will be shared on here. I’ll keep you posted 😉

I really wanted to share these things that I was going through with people who asked. People who I have been doing face to face life with, not the whole wide internet world. It can be such a positive thing to share what you are going through with the whole world and let them be a part of your journey and changes, but sometimes it’s just not appropriate or you don’t have the worlds or the means to describe what you are going through. I really felt the Lord telling me not to document it for all to see. Just to share it with the people who had gained my trust and who walked through it with me. This lead’s me into the topic of community…

Community is one of the most valuable things in life. People are the most complicated, frustrating, fascinating, coolest thing on the planet. I’ve been realizing it’s the most difficult, beautiful thing and most of the time it looks a lot differently then we think that it should.

For some reason I’ve always had it in my mind that community had to look a certain kind of way, like we had to meet at some bar or coffee shop every afternoon and it be like an episode of Cheers or Friends and anything less than that didn’t qualify.

Well that’s not always the case. Community should come organically and it looks different in every place and season of life that you live.

I’ve found myself being very unhappy with community in my city for quite some time and I realized it was because I was comparing it to Kinfolk communities I had found online and to season’s past in my life. Sometimes community looks different and new then we have ever experience it and that’s actually totally fine.

Community and relationships also require a butt ton of work. It requires you having people over when you don’t feel like it, it means calling friends when you hate talking on the phone, setting reminders on your phone to check in on certain friends, having brave conversations, showing up when you are beyond exhausted and asking questions and listening even when you want to talk and don’t actually care what’s going on. Just being real.

Actual community is dying to yourself sometimes and preferring the other people. If that’s something you are willing to do, which sometimes if I’m honest with myself I am not, then it will happen for you and it will be so beautiful when it does.

If there’s anything I’ve learned during this season of my life, it’s that we all NEED people and that we weren’t made to be alone. Even for those who can lean towards the introverted & independent side (i.e. me..on the independent part), we all NEED HELP and perspective at points.

Sometimes you have to ask for help. You have to tell people you are hurting and having a hard time, which can be really hard and unnatural at points (i.e. me.) but that’s what will take friendships and community to the next level.

We need friends to remind us of who we REALLY are when we are too deep in the hole to remember it or see the light of day. Sometimes we need them to remind us of our potential and where we are going. Just a side though, if they don’t know you are in the hole, where you are going or that you need help how can they help you out?

We all crave community, and we need real deep friendships in order to live the life God’s called us to. Appreciate, nurture and be grateful for those who are in your circle already (even if it’s small) and naturally more will gravitate towards your little, healthy friend orb.